It's in due time that I post something to add to your already exuberant lives! Recently, I took the opportunity to escape the Bryn Mawr bubble of stress and headed up to Boston to attend the annual Malaysian Forum(MF). So there I was dozing off into the best sleep I have had in weeks on a rather gloomy rainy Friday afternoon. For 6.5 hours, I felt my butt gradually surrender to numbness.
There were two things I was particularly excited to be a part of: MF and MIT's Pre-Frosh Weekend (PFW). All feelings of excitement and nervousness of meeting and making new friends and have a deeper experience in the life of a MIT student manifested over the days prior to my trip to the very second I entered the grounds of MIT. There is something about Boston I find mesmerizing; MIT, the transport system, the architecture, the cobblestone streets, the Commons, the river, I could go on and the list would never end. These objects or rather aspects are in fact very common even in Philadelphia, but I guess I seem to have an unknown and indecipherable attraction to the city.
Every college in the US dedicate a weekend to host prospective students or admitted students who are in the midst of deciding which college to enroll in. I find this a highly beneficial opportunity for students to have a gist of what the college life despite the fact that these events are usually catered to satisfy or entertain and somewhat influence a prospective student's decision to enrolling in the college. (Hey it's a business strategy right? Current students are the sales people and their college education or college is their product.) Each prospective weekend or PFW is unique to each college. At MIT, they have fireworks, explosions and funny hacks. If you don't already know what a hack is: one of MIT's tradition is hacking where students group together and plan to play a prank on the school, most of these hacks have included putting a police car with a police dummy having a doughnut on the roof of their famous dome on campus. While I was there, they hung a beach mat with a stuffed dog curling up on a beach chair next to a child sized pool and a beach ball, high up on their infamous MIT sign. MIT never fails to entertain and leave me in a state of awe each time I visit.
In one of MIT's hallway dubbed the "infinity" hall, students had installed a Mood-o-Meter. This was an ingenious set up consisting of a camera and a flat screen display. Anyone who passed by the camera would be detected and if they were smiling, the program would display a green smiley face on top of their faces; if they were frowning, the program would display a yellow frowning face on top of their faces. It also measured the intensity of your happiness or smile on a scale of 0-100. SPECTACULAR! I was utterly amazed so much so I almost forgot to take a photo! MIT students are truly blessed with the brains, resources and freedom to create and innovate. I can only imagine how amazing it must be to be a MIT student; I would never get tired of a school like that. It was like as if time had reversed and I was back to being a kid in a candy store.
Returning to MF, I met and made new friends and old friends from all over the US. In all honesty, I came to the conference feeling rather reluctant and cynical after a previous experience. Change is indeed needed in Malaysia but how much of a difference or impact can a 20 year old stressed out about life after graduation student like me make? The topics and speakers this year was no doubt more interesting and thought provoking than the previous year. The main topic at hand was related to the bright future of Malaysia and the decision of Malaysians abroad to return home. There are many things I would love to do back home but in reality where one has to be selfish first to be selfless later, I would say my perspective on this issue would be rather biased. Dreams are good and dreams are great, and so are optimism and visions. But we all know that there are many occasions that serve as examples of the unrelenting effect when reality bites and WOAH BOY does it bite hard.
After all that is said, I should probably share my view on the issue. Malaysia is a developing country with as much political instability as a man with one foot off the edge of a cliff. With that said, yes I am optimistic of the country's future but this change will not be immediate and nor will it be easy. I do not see myself as a 21 year old fresh graduate with a BA in Chemistry back home giving back to the society as a.....I don't even know what I could possibly be when I return home. At least this is not a vision of myself that I imagine being involved in at the age of 21. Yes, as scholars we should give back to the country. But if we are fighting to survive ourselves financially, then there are sacrifices we must make early in our career. I am sure many parents find this true. Many parents who tell their children to stay abroad and not return. They have gone through the years of struggling and the cycles of political unrest in the country. With their experiences, they are part of the upcoming generations' history. They must have some foresight of what might arise in the coming years. They too were once youths with a world full of dreams and aspirations. Did they all expect to be where they are today?
I agree that we all have an emotional and sentimental attachment to what we define as "home". As part of the many sacrifices worth making, I think a detachment would only allow us to mature and be mentally prepared for many other heart wrenching events in life. Now allow me to clarify this idea of detachment. I do not imply detachment in the sense of leaving and forgetting about your family but allowing the idea of family to be grow more in an abstract state of mind rather than something physical. One does not necessarily need to be physically or rather geographically close to family members to feel at "home". As we age and enter into our years of adolescence, home becomes more than just a roof over people who are blood related to you. Home becomes the phone calls or Skype sessions from your parents and siblings, it becomes the care packages your parents send over, it becomes the birthday cards you find in your mailbox, it becomes the conversations on what graduate school you're going to apply for.
I shall conclude with this: We humans are selfish beings by nature. And therefore by default, I can not yet agree to returning home and dedicating my life after only the bare minimum years of education at such an early stage of my hopefully successful career. When I have decided that I have spent too many years being a modern day Scrooge in my road to educational enrichment and of course financial stability, only then would I truly and completely give my country what they have lost. Selfish as it seems, this is what reality is.And I cannot deny that there are instances where I wish I could impact the community back home, but my character in this play is none but a minor role. I do not completely dismiss the idea of giving back to the society, my contributions would come in unplanned periods in my life.
I am truly inspired by every Malaysian out there who have decided to take the leap, dedicate the rest of their career and return home to help equip the upcoming generations with the weapons to conquer the battles that lay ahead. Hats off to everyone who never failed to be optimistic of the country's future and the changes that have been made hopefully for the betterment of the society. I wish you all good luck!
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